My Philosophy & Approach

There is a lovely French phrase “Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner” which means to understand all, is to forgive all. This phrase has been attributed to various sources, some even saying it can be traced back to Buddha. Regardless of who originally uttered this piece of timeless wisdom, in many ways, this phrase guides my work and outlines my philosophy around the work I do with others. I believe that with proper understanding and compassion, we have the ability to truly empathize, first with ourselves, and then with all other humans.

Many times when people find their way to deeper self-work, they have suffered a great deal under the authoritarian rule of what we call in Freudian psychology (and in Enneagram work), the Ego. The Ego is not a true entity of course, but psychologically it represents our “programming” or the scaffolding that outlines how we make decisions and live out our day-to-day lives. When we first find our way to the Enneagram it can be a very exciting time of self-discovery and revelation, but it typically doesn’t take long for us to realize that finding our type is not as simple as glancing at a funny meme or coffee table book; it is the honest and painful work of looking at who we think we are.

It is about who we think we are because, in truth, our Enneagram type is not who we are, but who we are not. It is merely the mask we wear and the defenses we use to guard the soft, vulnerable underbelly of our inner being. It is more than common in the Enneagram world to toss around our typing, argue about it, type others, and push to be seen as whatever type we feel makes us sound the greatest to ourselves and others by highlighting all of our positive qualities. In reality, however, the Enneagram is not a complimentary system. It was not originally created or intended to give people the warm and fuzzies, but rather to push them into self-awareness, transformation, and truth.

The work I do is a hybrid of many different systems and approaches coming together, but the Enneagram is and will always be a core component of my approach because it is the most accurate, thorough, and deeply penetrative system I’ve ever encountered. The Enneagram holds within it, the potential for unparalleled personal transformation, and as a tool, it can be used as deeply or as superficially (unfortunately) as the practitioner who uses it. In our work together, it will be a foundational piece that we will keep coming back to like a buoy. That being said, I will also use many other systems and approaches in our work together (all of which are complimentary to one another) and I ask that all clients be open to that as well.

Typically someone will arrive in my inbox with a presenting issue that has been causing them stress or suffering in their life and they want to gain a better understanding of that issue or thing. However, in order to fully understand any one thing, we need to go back to the root. So, I like to begin our work together by getting a solid background on you, and your childhood upbringing and experiences. This helps me to better understand where you came from so that I can help you to get where you want to go. Nothing we do now is without influence from our past, and though we like to believe we act completely out of autonomy and free will, our past is like an echo that still rings in our ears even when we can’t understand where the sound is originating. Childhood narratives help to illuminate patterns that I see repeating for you in the present. This opens up an opportunity for us to dig more deeply and explore how/when/where these patterns developed, if they’re still serving you, and how to move through them if they are no longer helping you to create the life you want.

When I commit to working with someone, I am committing to understanding them fully, but also giving them my commitment to honesty, integrity, and empathy. I like to work gently, but when needed, I will push you to see what you may be hiding from yourself. At times I may ask uncomfortable questions, or mirror something back to you that may not feel congruent with your self-concept. Many times sessions will not go where we expect them to go, but rather things will unfold as they are meant to. This is all part of the process! No matter what comes up, as your coach, I am here to offer a compassionate ear, a good dose of analysis, another perspective or angle, and always to extend to you the empathy that I believe all humans need to feel truly seen and valued. We will chart your course together as we co-create a healing path!

Most importantly, I want everyone I work with to know that my goal is always to get you from unawareness to awareness and then to move out beyond ego. It isn’t uncommon to see clients that want to retype repeatedly, to navel gaze, and to self-analyze into oblivion and that is not the way in which I prefer to work. We will spend significant time looking inward, but always the goal will be to zoom out and come back to a place of understanding and compassion for yourself (self-grace as I call it) so that you can move beyond just an Enneagram type and live as your true, full, Self in a more expansive sense (out of what some refer to as soul).

If you are interested in a deep, holistic, and challenging journey of discovering who you really are through the Enneagram (and beyond), then please reach out to me via email. I prefer to schedule an initial, 30-minute consultation call just so that we can meet, chat for a few minutes, and get clarity on your intentions and goals before our first full session. This gives me an opportunity to answer any questions you may have and to make sure we both feel like a good match for one another before diving into the process!

I believe the universe leads us to the right people at the right time and I’m so glad that the universe has led you here. I am looking forward to meeting you and I am honored to be part of your process!

♥ Aaron

The Systems

Here are some of the more common systems and approaches I like to use, in tandem (though the ones we use will depend on your specific needs). This list is not exhaustive and it is ever growing. In some instances, if I feel you need more in-depth work in a particular area, I may refer you to a specialist in that area of expertise in order to get you more support within that particular area or system.

Each whole person is made up of parts, and we will address those parts with:

-The Enneagram (psychological core triggers and defenses)
-A lovely marriage between Psychoanalysis & Jungian Analysis
-Microexpressions and micromovements
-Psychodrama
-Transpersonal Psychology
-Internal Family Systems
-Myers Briggs
-Spiral Dynamics
-Types and Levels of Human Empathy
-Planes of Consciousness
-Quantum Psychology
-Mindfulness and Presence Work
-Multiple Intelligences
-Somatics
-Bioenergetic Character Structures
-Astrology* (Vedic and Western)
-Human Design*
-Communication Lexicon
-Conflict Management Skills
-Non-violent Communication

And the list goes on…

*These are systems that I am familiar with and do believe they can explain a great deal about our experience, on top of being complimentary to the Enneagram. However, each of these is also a very complex system on its own, and may also require an even deeper level of expertise to work with. In the case that my knowledge of a system is not as exhaustive as what your needs require, I have some very experienced practitioners I can refer you to for deeper study in these particular areas.